family Archives – Its Very Necessary

GUESS WHO’S BACK?!

This blog post is long overdue. Yes, it’s been radio silence from me on all my social media platforms, but I had a good reason(s). One major reason I’ve been so quiet is because I decided to go back to school to complete my degree in Communications!!! I enrolled at Bowie State University in Fall 2024. I get the irony of the Communications major pushing pause on all communications, but I can explain. So, I’m back in school, yay me, right?! Wrong! Life has a funny way of humbling you. Just when you think, it’s finally my time to shine, my kids are young adults, they don’t need me as much, now I can finish what I started almost 20+ years ago, yup when I was like 12 ;-). Remember when I said life has a way of humbling you, it did in a major way. Shortly after I enrolled my mother-in-law was officially diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia, yes, the same kind of dementia Bruce Willis was diagnosed with. And it gets better; my mother was diagnosed was breast cancer in December 2024.

HIS MOTHER

I say officially, because frontotemporal dementia often presents as bi-polar disorder, or you’re just losing a step in your old-age, and/or you’re the corky old lady in apt 1B, all of which could be a reality, but it wasn’t for my mother-in-law. It became abundantly clear she could no longer live on her own, so she moved in with us. We had no idea how hard caring for her would be. She went from being an escape artist, convinced we were trying to steal her money, and apartment (shame on you Jackie…lol iykyk) to be being completely dependent on us to make her meals, bathing her, making sure she exercised and trying to maintain what is left of her memory.

THE DECISION

However, after a long hard year of trying to do something neither of us have ever done (care for an aging adult parent with an illness) while working full time, parenting our children, and me being full time student, we made the difficult decision to move her into an assisted living facility. She’s been at the facility for 3 weeks as of today and life is different. Honestly, it feels like a huge weight was lifted off of us, but that feeling of freedom is also tethered to a heavy sense of guilt.

For most people of color, black folk in particular, putting your elderly family members into any kind of home and/or assisted living facility is a major faux pas, a total last result, under normal circumstances we just don’t do it. However, caring for someone with frontotemporal dementia isn’t normal for anyone. Saddled with that cultural guilt and personal feelings of fear and doubt, we made the hard decision. I applaud families that can keep their loved ones with him. Statistically they do fare better at home, but that often comes at a great cost to the caregivers, mentally, financially, and physically. In the end it proved to be untenable for us. I am happy to report she seems to be thriving at the facility. Needless to say, we’re keeping the facility accountable on all fronts.

MY MOTHER

The moms have needed a lot of care and attention this year. If caring for someone with frontotemporal dementia wasn’t enough, life throw another curve ball at us, cancer. My mother was diagnosed with stage 1, triple negative breast cancer in December 2024. We were very grateful for early detection but the type of cancer she has is/was difficult to treat. She had a successful lumpectomy in January 2025 and recently (like last week recent) decided to undergo radiation treatment to ensure she stays cancer free. Stay tuned for an update on that. Through all of this I tried to maintain my sanity and not overwhelm myself with worry and fear. I haven’t always been successful. Why is any of this important, why am I sharing all of this now? Simply put, because I actually have the bandwidth to do it. I couldn’t muster the mental energy to do more than what was absolutely necessary, unfortunately the blog caught a stray. Hopefully you caught the pun, the blog it’s literally entitled It’s Very Necessary, listen I crack myself up and that’s all that really matters.

I’M BACK

Here’s the good news I’m back!! And I am happy to report, amiss all of this I managed to make the Dean’s List twice, named Change Maker of the Year at work, served as a staff for BSU’s Literary Magazine, The Torch,acquired my Project Management Certification all while staying married and sane (therapy helps). It’s been a full year since I started at Bowie and what a year it has been. I’m entering my junior year, diving deeper into my major. Guess what you all get to come with me on this journey!!! One of my favorite classes so far is my Social Media marketing class. We’re going to explore topics like, web design services, social media and advertising and so much more. Full disclosure this post is also a part of one my first assignments which was to create a blog, done and done Professor Craig. I’m excited about this class, the semester and what I hope will be an uneventfully end of the calendar year!

Xoxo,

Andrea

Kimberly Goldson X Janie and Jack

***Full Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase via my links I will compensated***

It’s not a big secret we are huge fans of the Harlem Fashion Row X Janie and Jack collaborations featuring Kim Goldson. The latest drop from our faves definitely did not disappoint. I know Janie and Jack is on the pricier side of the aisle, but totally worth it for several reasons:

Quality- Theses garments are well made. They’re designed for wear and tear; hopefully not too much tear. When the time comes, these pieces can be passed down to a younger sibling, cousin, or family friend; still in mint-condition.
Discounts- There’s a always sale going on, you just have to catch it. I rarely full price for anything.
Style- These pieces are expertly curated and designed. My Laila doesn’t get excited about too much, but she loved the pieces we received from the last two collections and that’s saying a lot for a 12 year old girl… #picky

Steps down from soapbox…

We needed to do a festive Fall look and we’re been long overdue for a Mommy & Me look. My sister-in-law Julie (photographed below) suggested we take my nephew Jaxxon to a local farm for some outdoor fun while visiting my mom in North Carolina. Boom two birds with one stone, festive fall look meets Mommy & Me awesomeness. We also took some pictures of Jaxxon and Julie. I love candid photos they tell the story and you don’t have to say a word; somebody’s a mama’s boy who has an affinity for Superman.

I know my Jaxx is a looker, but let’s get back to the reason we came, Laila and Andrea cuteness.

Kim Goldson- Janie and Jack Harlem Fashion

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EVERYBODY MATTERS- SWIMSUIT EDITION- THE MATTE COLLECTION

Hey gang! I know the unofficial end of summer was last weekend but me and Amanda are still summering…lol Since we’re all about to be pumpkin spiced to death we didn’t want to miss the opportunity to share our annual body positivity swimsuit shoot with you all.

two women at the poolside wearing the Matte Collection- Kai

In our latest installment of the everyBODY matters series, we’re wearing the Matte Collection’s Kai swimsuit. I’m rocking the white Kai-Cheetah print and Amanda is in the black Kai- Snake print. Why did I choose the Matte Collection for this year’s shoot, it should be pretty clear as to why, but I’ll go ahead state the obvious anyway, they make swimwear for everyBODY!!! The Matte Collection swimsuits are super affordable, comfortable, stylish, and just the right amount of sexy. Perfect for the ladies that want to give’em a little razzle dazzle on the beach or pool side.

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IVN TURNS 3

It’s our 3 year anniversary gang! This past year has been A LOT!!! Between you, me and the walls I didn’t wanted to throw in the towel on the blog, for a number of reasons. At the height of the pandemic it seemed silly, dare I say insensitive to post about fashion and fun when some many people were sick, suffering, and quite literally dying. So many people are still struggling just to make ends meet. However instead of throwing the baby in with the bath water I decided to pivot, because that’s what champions do they adjust.

IVN TURNS 3

I’m so glad I made the decision not to quit, not to give up on my dreams, not to give up on the community we’ve built. The IVN community is small but thoroughly engaged, something you can’t find just anywhere. It’s really all about the engagement and adding value. It will be so cool to have big brand sponsorships and an enormous following on all my social media platforms one day, but having an attentive and engaged audience is what I’m most proud of and how I measure our success. You guys allow me to experiment and grow without being pigeon-hold to one genre or niche. At it’s core this blog is definitely about fashion but you all let me share everything and I appreciate that more than words can express.

woman leaning on a wall with red and green paint celebrating ivn turns 3

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HALOGEN X ATLANTIC PACIFIC

Full disclosure: This post contains affiliate links to my Amazon store. If you use my links to shop (please do) I will receive a commission.

Hey gang! The mini-me and I snuck out of the house for a little social-distancing photo shoot so we could debut our prettiest Mommy & Me look yet. It’s no secret I’m a huge fan of Blair Eadie. She speaks to my soul with her bright, cheerful, yet ultra chic style. If high fashion and a rainbow had a baby, that’s Blair. I’m sporting a dress from her latest collaboration with Halogen X Atlantic- Pacific. Halogen is one of Nordstrom’s top selling ready to wear brands. It’s also become one of my favorite brands outside of it’s collaborations with Ms. Blair.

HALOGEN X ATLANTIC PACIFIC

It’s all about the strips for me. Do I look like a summer day walking or nah?! I think so. About the dress, it’s sheer and light-weight. The dress comes with a removeable slip, a sign of a pretty well thought out garment. I wore undergarments that were very close in color to the slip so it blended seamlessly. I’d advise you to wear nude undergarments with this one; better safe than sorry. This garment definitely has some room for growth; it’s very forgiving. The only con in my opinion is that the dress get a case of the wrinkles earlier on; which is true of most pieces made with organza. Not a real deterrent for me as they are hardly noticeable but if you are a neat freak it may bother you. Either way you’ve been advised.

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We’re Wearing White After Labor Day!!!

Summer is fading away but I still wanted to share this look with you all. And I hesitated sharing this look for a micro second. I almost gave credence to the style rule about not wearing white after labor day. I mean is that a thing anymore. The growing consensus is NO! We don’t follow the rules around here anyway, right?!

Most people have no idea where this foolishness came from. Some say it came out of a cultural necessity to mark the change of the seasons with a change in our style of dress. The day after Labor Day than became the benchmark. The idea was that we were going back to business. It’s time to put the linen dresses and leisure suits of summer away. No need for shorts and sun dresses; school’s back in session and it’s back to the basics. Back to neutrals, grays, blacks, and browns. It’s time to Fall back, pun intended. Essentially ditching your white duds meant re-entry into normalcy.

Doing our best Destiny’s Child Say My Name Video Impression

Hey Laila!!!

En Blanc

IT’S VERY NECESSARY- YEAR ONE

I can hardly believe it’s been an ENTIRE year since we first launched It’s Very Necessary (IVN)! What a ride it has been?! The mission is the same to save as many people as possible from unfortunate fashion choices; whether it be for work or play…lol I want to inspire women and men to be the best version of themselves, fashionably. I sincerely hope I’ve done that to some degree. And if not you guys let me know and mama will work on it ;-).

IT’S VERY NECESSARY YEAR ONE

My very first post featured the lovely Laila Beale (my youngest daughter). What a shoot that was, the heat, the outfit changes, the bribery (yes I had to bribe her with new toys just to get her to cooperate). It was all worth it. Our first post was quite the hit. Look how far we’ve come. No bribery was involved for this shoot, she’s a professional now.

Now…

Then…

This adventure also started out as a necessary (pun intended) distraction from my work; now it’s my new baby. I say baby because friends and family often ask if we want another child, specifically a boy. Since children, boy or girl, don’t come out potty trained and talking, Ricardo and I decided we’ll pass. Our two girls keep us plenty busy.

It’s always a fight with Sanaa

Three the hard way

The Dynamic Duo

IVN really has become our new baby.

This “child” requires a considerable amount of time, money, blood, sweat, and tears. Maybe not blood but everything else for sure. IVN has given me an opportunity to share my love for fashion with so many people. I’m honored and humbled to share my baby with my IVN family.

We put the “I” in IVN

It’s a family affair

We’ve had some highs and lows but more highs than anything. I’ve had to teach myself so much about the blogger and influencer world, I still have so much to learn. I remain undaunted and I am eager for the next chapter. But to celebrate this first chapter we had to do an anniversary shoot. I couldn’t have imagined doing the anniversary shoot without my dream team. I’ve begged, cajoled, bribed, guilted, and demanded my family’s cooperation and participation in bringing IVN to life. In all seriousness they’ve been instrumental in IVN’s success. Without them this just doesn’t work; my family is everything.